The following message is from the Master Redactor.
What's Bothering Ted Today?
Blogs are lame, self-important wastes of energy. They are, however, a good way to archive things I would like to complain about. And there are several.
An Illustration of False Equivalence
It’s not that we’re saying you don’t have the right to say crazy shit, just that the crazy shit you’re saying makes you a fucking idiot holding up progress.
F TX in the ( * )
Slappy: I don’t think I can draw a good butthole. Ted: Not true. You did that self-portrait, remember? Dactor: 01001000 01000001 01001000 01000001!
I don’t even know where to start. Do I really have to write a substantiating argument? No; no I do not.
Hey, I’ve Got an Idea: Winter 2015 Edition
Snow brings out the perfect manifestation of irrational rage in us. It also brings out morons and assholes, for whom we have very rational rage.
Ted flies on the 9/11 anniversary
Oh, TSA. So predictable in your unpredictability.
Hey, I’ve Got an Idea: Summer Construction Edition
Brilliant ideas for pushing Ted’s road rage buttons.
How to RSVP, you loutish clod.
Simple and self-evident, right? Now stop fucking up my parties.
Savoring every bite one open-mouthed chomp at a time.
Your impersonation of a goat noshing on trash dump fruit is spot on. Now quit it.
Bourbon Hipsters. Goddammit.
Ted gazes into the abyss, which gazes back into him. [Shit—Nietzsche hipster…]
FU, General Motors. You’re toast.
Not to get all political…
