Avast! I spy a bilge-sucking son of a biscuit eater!
Sgt. Slaughter’s Desert PT
Most decidedly not a victory power crap…
I love the scent of burnt flesh in the morning…
“When I’m through, scuzzbucket, they’re gonna scrape you off the walls with a squeegee!”
The Mercenary Who Wished to Be a Poet
Raise your glasses and sing the praises / Of our leader who nothing fazes; / Cobra Commander, he’s my chum, / I trust him like I trust my gun!
Knowing is More Than Half the Battle When Your Enemies Are Bumbling Morons
Suck double-aught buckshot, Snake Face!
Zartan, Master of Weirdo Disguises
Hiding behind every weirdo’s face… is a mercenary biker with a fondness for make-up, belly shirts, and world domination.
An Assault in and of Snow
“Remember: a cobra is a snake, and ‘snake’ is ‘sneak’ spelled sideways.”
Peace Sells… but Who’s Buying?
“Premature panic is the sign of an immature mind.”
Finger-Wagging Fascist
“I shall not allow such impertinence! Especially from an enlisted man!”
Cobra Commander’s Near-Impotent Rage
“What would you have me do with Washington? Pepper it with spitballs?”