Suck double-aught buckshot, Snake Face!
Oddities & Effluvia
Non sequiturs that, like an unwelcome flatus, jolt abruptly into consciousness and quickly fade, making you question if they were ever really there. Even a room full of chimps and typewriters can crank out Shakespeare, right? Well, Shakespeare's for smug assholes, and we've got a horde of baboons with pitchforks and shovels tending to our Heap. Point being, there's bound to be at least one coarsely polished turd in these piles. Enjoy!
Zartan, Master of Weirdo Disguises
Hiding behind every weirdo’s face… is a mercenary biker with a fondness for make-up, belly shirts, and world domination.
Mutagen Man
“the slime of all my yesterdays rots in the hollow of my skull”—Syliva Plath
Shredder, you gotta listen to reason! You’re gonna kill us all!
“THEN SO BE IT!”
Fighting for Sewer Scraps
“You must find the space between your thoughts and learn to—BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ—learn to—BZZZ BZZZ SMACK! … Learn to live there.”
I am many things, but here I am God.
Darkseid: “The skies will rain fire, the oceans will boil, the streets will run red with the blood of billions. Only then, after your last pitiful hope is extinguished, will I end your life.”
The Heist
[Whistles and backs out of room slowly…]
Boomstick
“Life is hard and dangerous, and sometimes you just gotta chop off somebody’s head to survive.”
A Failed Apprentice Makes A Foolish Master
“It is obvious that this contest cannot be decided by our knowledge of the Force, but by our skills with a lightsaber.”
A Pi Day Grievously Short on Pie
Now serving Jedi scum in multiples of four.
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