If you are calling to speak to Accounts Receivable, please hold as we are currently attempting to extricate the check you stapled into its envelope. Directly through the MICR line. Asshole.
--MASTER REDACTOR
'Dactor runs this joint as Central Scrutinizer, Enforcer of Edict. All failings belong to it. That’s what it is told, anyway, and it’s a machine (mostly), so who cares if its feelings are hurt?
This is the entire sloppy enchilada, ladies and germs … START SHOVELING
Also: The Heap at a Glance
Spew Forth Your Blather