If you are calling to speak to Accounts Receivable, please hold as we are currently attempting to extricate the check you stapled into its envelope. Directly through the MICR line. Asshole.
--MASTER REDACTOR
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Before you deposit your unsolicited two cents
Ted says: "We've got enough baboons around here. Don't act like a red-assed primate, please. If we choose to dignify your comment with a response, live with it. Or work yourself into a frothing frenzy and drive into a lamppost; I don't care."
About Master Redactor
'Dactor runs this joint as Central Scrutinizer, Enforcer of Edict. All failings belong to it. That’s what it is told, anyway, and it’s a machine (mostly), so who cares if its feelings are hurt?
Spew Forth Your Blather